Happy 4th of July, Dudes

This is the sort of stuff that goes on when Mom has to go to work and Dad is in charge. Rockin the Red, White and Blue. Party on ya'll.

You'll just have to take our word for it

Yes, we did have a new dress for Lil this easter. But you'll just have to believe me that she looked really cute. There's just no sittin' still for this kid. I give you--action easter shots.

(Insert quippy title here)

Wow, I am so very tired. So tired, in fact, that I'm just going to do the Reader's Digest version. No, scratch that, just headlines and pictures.

Husband hurts back. A week of no improvement but economic research continues.



(sorry, no picture)




Wife tired. Work blah--misses baby.



(definitely no picture)

7-month old eats, crawls, and stands unassisted. And spits up. And poops a lot. And is really busy. Oh, and is the cutest thing ever.

Irish babe

First crawl at 6-months. Yikes! She lives now in constant mortal peril.




Hi




Don't worry, Mom. I got this.





You were done, right?

My Angel

I was looking back at some old posts and read the one about how I was waiting for the Lil' Pill to become my little angel. Well--the angel has arrived. Complete with wings.

"I will never do that when I have kids"

Tonight I was one of those people. I went to do my grocery shopping, unshowered and unmakuped with my baby in tow. She was in a mismatched outfit, with a crusty nose, spit-up on her shirt and carrots in her eyebrows. At least she was wearing socks. And pants.

At the store I was carrying her around in my baby carrier so she could look around at what's going on and babble at passers-by. And you know, she's starting to get kind of heavy. While I was going around a corner, I noticed some pretzels that I liked better than the bag I already had in my cart. And do you know what I did? I traded them, right then and there and put the other bag where it doesn't belong. I never do that! I hate being responsible for putting things where they don't belong. So sorry shelf-stocker people, the baby was heavy and it was getting very close to bed time.

I will add that the trip to the store actually ended very pleasantly. I never accept help from the baggers to take stuff to my car. I always feel so awkward and I have no talent for small talk. But while I was muscling stuff into my car, baby still on chest, some boys walked by and offered to put the heavy stuff in the car for me. How nice! I love nice people. And on the ride home Beethoven's 9th was on the radio. That put me in such a good mood that the impatient Dallas drivers only made me a little bit annoyed.

And now I'm home, the baby is carrot free and sleeping and my fridge is full. Happy day!

(Doesn't she look happy to be home? Just promise me you won't look too long or closely at this picture.)

Legacy

I miss my Mom. Pretty much every day. It's usually something a little different every day that I miss her for. Like yesterday for instance--it was one of those days when I feel like I'm lousy at pretty much everything and most people I know are really just pretending to actually like me (why do we tell ourselves such things anyway?). I really could have used a phone call to Mom so she could remind me how wonderful she thinks I am. Self-deprecations aside, however, I have been thinking a lot about Mom and the legacy she left us, her children. I told Mom before she passed away (perhaps a little selfishly) that I was terrified at the thought of raising children without her around. But though she's gone, she did leave us with a lifetime of lessons I can share with my own children.

One thing I have of hers that helps me keep her close and reminds me of the person she was is her silver ring.

Many of you may recognize it. She got it in Denmark when my oldest brother was just a baby. I never knew her to be without this ring. When I was younger I used to like to study Mom's hands. I remember sitting in church and I would look at her hands and rub my finger on the smooth surface of the silver. Her hands represented to me much of what she was. They were soft, gentle, and calming, and yet there was plain evidence on them that they worked hard. A callus here and there, or a little left over stain from working in the yard the day before. I love to look at the ring and think of what it's accomplished on those hands. The bottom of it is worn very smooth, and there are little scratches all over it. Each scratch gained individually over a lifetime of wearing it everywhere. Even the sound of the ring hitting a counter triggers a memory of Mom for me. Sometimes now, especially when I'm doing something for Lil, I see it through the corner of my eye and I like to think of Mom's hands doing something similar for me when I was a baby. It's a small token, but it helps me feel like she's close by and it helps me remember that what I know of love, patience, endurance, and tenacity, I learned first from her. Thank you, Mom, for the life and legacy you lived for your children. I love you.

"Sleep is for the Weak"

That's part of the title of a book my mother-in-law recently gave me--all about surviving as a working mom. Well, I guess I go in the "weak" category because I have succumbed to sleep in the last month instead of updating my blog. It occurs to me that November was national blogging month and I failed to produce even a single blog. Shameful! And when I have pictures like this to post too!

I haven't even been blog stalking, much less commenting on all the blogs of my wonderful blogging buddies and fam. I don't suppose I can count all the blogs I've written in my head over the last month and a half? No? Okay, well I'm going to sit here and eat sour gummy worms and try to turn them all into one big super blog. First, more pictures. That's all anyone really wants to see anyway, right?

I think Lil thinks sleep is for the weak as well. She was sleeping through a very large chunk of the night up until I went back to work. Now she's getting up again smack dab in the middle of the night and again early in the morning. I think she must figure, "well Mom doesn't get to see me all day, I'll bet she'll want some more bonding time around 1:30 AM. Aren't you glad to see me Mom?" Well who wouldn't want to see more of this face?

Ok, so work. I guess hate would be a strong word, but I can't say I'm completely happy to be going to work every morning. Of course I love seeing my friends that I work with and all that running around a hospital has helped me shed a few more baby pounds, but man I sure do miss my Lil' Miss. It seems so wrong that I leave her for so much of the day so often and let other people care for her and play with her and teach her things. Well I guess it's Dad right now since he's on break from school, so that's not so bad, but starting in January it will be strangers doing the job I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like one of those people that buys a dog because the idea of it seems cool, but then they put it in a kennel in the backyard and barely see it and just let it bark at the neighbors all day long. Perhaps that's not the greatest analogy, but still, how can it ever be okay that I will miss so much of the first few years of my daughter's life? I should say that I remain grateful that Ian has the opportunity to finally get his PhD and I would never say I regret the changes in our life that mean I need to keep working so he can be back in school. I am happy to contribute to what will hopefully be a more secure and fulfilling future for our family, but I do also hope that it won't be too too long before my financial contributions will be of less importance--oh, and that my daughter will still like me better than the ladies at her daycare.

Speaking of daycare, what a nightmare that has been to find! We had a home daycare all set up and then it fell through two days before I went back to work. We've been on a mad dash since trying to find a new one that doesn't have a year long waiting list. That is no easy feat, believe me. I think we finally found one, but it is very much out of our way, so that means we have lots of driving and long days in our future. Poor Lil is going to have longer days then I am and I will get to be with her just in time for the evening fussies then bedtime. Oh a little bit of my heart breaks off every day thinking of all this, but it is our reality, so I will try to dwell on it less. I'm certainly not the first or only person that has to deal with these challenges, so we will make the best of it.

We owe a very big thank you to Ian's mom who just left us after a couple of weeks of playing nanny to bridge the gap between me going back to work and Ian finishing his fall semester. She's a true pro in baby world and I'm pretty sure Lil finds me very boring now. She was so incredibly helpful and I'm so grateful that she sacrificed her time for us. Of course, being Grandma can be kind of fun too though. Thank you, Cindy, again and again.

So now Ian's done for a month (hallelujah!) and playing Mr. Mom and I'm off to work every day. That pretty much sums it up for now. I have done virtually nothing to prepare for Christmas, but it will be here before we know it. I look forward to having a long weekend with family and time to think about the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. How grateful I am for His life and for my incredible family and good friends that do so much for me. I don't deserve them but I'm glad they don't know that. I hope you all have a joyful and restful holiday. Merry Christmas!