Legacy

I miss my Mom. Pretty much every day. It's usually something a little different every day that I miss her for. Like yesterday for instance--it was one of those days when I feel like I'm lousy at pretty much everything and most people I know are really just pretending to actually like me (why do we tell ourselves such things anyway?). I really could have used a phone call to Mom so she could remind me how wonderful she thinks I am. Self-deprecations aside, however, I have been thinking a lot about Mom and the legacy she left us, her children. I told Mom before she passed away (perhaps a little selfishly) that I was terrified at the thought of raising children without her around. But though she's gone, she did leave us with a lifetime of lessons I can share with my own children.

One thing I have of hers that helps me keep her close and reminds me of the person she was is her silver ring.

Many of you may recognize it. She got it in Denmark when my oldest brother was just a baby. I never knew her to be without this ring. When I was younger I used to like to study Mom's hands. I remember sitting in church and I would look at her hands and rub my finger on the smooth surface of the silver. Her hands represented to me much of what she was. They were soft, gentle, and calming, and yet there was plain evidence on them that they worked hard. A callus here and there, or a little left over stain from working in the yard the day before. I love to look at the ring and think of what it's accomplished on those hands. The bottom of it is worn very smooth, and there are little scratches all over it. Each scratch gained individually over a lifetime of wearing it everywhere. Even the sound of the ring hitting a counter triggers a memory of Mom for me. Sometimes now, especially when I'm doing something for Lil, I see it through the corner of my eye and I like to think of Mom's hands doing something similar for me when I was a baby. It's a small token, but it helps me feel like she's close by and it helps me remember that what I know of love, patience, endurance, and tenacity, I learned first from her. Thank you, Mom, for the life and legacy you lived for your children. I love you.